#it would disrupt bedtime so I’m not loving the idea too much but we haven’t taken the kids at all ever

[harmonizewithechoes]

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[hockeytrashgoblin]

High ~Part 12

A/N: This is the last part of this tonight but just wait because I have some other things to post too lmao. I have so much I’m so sorry I’m such a goblin that hordes writing like this when I get sad.

It was about a month later and things had gone a little more normal. Ema was still allowed to come see Gray but Brian stayed at Auston's. I knew Ema had nothing to do with it. She'd never do anything to risk never seeing Grayson again, she loved him too much.

As Mitch expected Freddie had a long talk with Auston. Mitch also had a talk with Auston and so did Ema. The general consensus was that he stuck up for me with his dad and that he didn't think of how a signed jersey would come across. He was dumb. We knew this.

Mitch and I had given the shirt to a little boy in the hospital with brain cancer. He was really small for being 6 because of the chemo on top of him being small anyway so the toddler jersey fit him perfectly. He had loved the gift and I felt a lot of satisfaction in giving it to him and brightening up the little guy's day.

Everything was getting back to normal just in time to be wrecked again by two new babies. I was thinking a lot about how things were gonna change with more kids as Mitch and Grayson were sleeping on me. We had started taking family naps because my boys liked to feel the babies move around. So there I was, the first one awake, sandwiched by Mitch on my right and Gray on the left. It was my favourite spot to be these days.

I felt Mitch stir beside me and blink awake. He smiled wide and put his hand on my tummy where a baby was moving.

"Morning sunshine." I said running my hand through his hair.

"Mornin baby." 

"You feel the babies?"

"Yeah there's one right beside me. Kicking me in the head. I love it. I love you. I can't wait to meet them."

"You're so sweet baby. I love you too."

"Oh year clear your schedule tonight babe. We're going on a date."

"Well I waaaas going to watch a  beach bargain hunt marathon but I suppose I can do that another night."

"Sorry to disrupt your big plans love but this is worth it I promise. I want to go out with you again before the babies get here."

"Don't be sorry lovey. I'd love to go on a date with you. How fancy do I need to get?"

"You can wear whatever you want. I'm gonna be in a button down shirt with some nice jeans. You wear what you like. We'll be outside for a bit though so keep that in mind."

"Mitchy it's April!"

"Yeah but the snow is gone. It'll be only a little cold."

"I'm still on board babe you don't need to convince me." 

"Okay good." He gave me a kiss and we just cuddled together for a while. Mitch was happy to just lay there for hours with his hands on my belly. It was really sweet. Eventually Grayson woke up though so cuddle time was over.

"Hi baby."

"Hey little man, how was the nap?"

"It was good daddy. The baby kicked me."

"Do you want to make a fun craft with me today?" I asked him trying to tame his wild hair.

"Yeah! What kind of craft?"

"A new one. We haven't done this one before."

"Let's go right now!" He said jumping on the bed.

"Okay honey let's go."

I got up with no help from Mitch who was dying laughing watching me struggle with my giant tummy. I brought Gray downstairs and started getting the supplies out. Once I was done I put Grayson in his booster seat so he could reach the table and I sat beside him.

"What are we doing mommy?"

"Well grandma made some little ocean onesies for the babies and I thought we could colour them in together. There's four so pick two that you want to do."

"I want the poptopus."

"That's octopus love. Octopus."

"Octopus. I forgot." He said giggling making me smile.

"Which other one do you want to do?"

"I want to do  free Willy!"

"Okay so you get octopus and the whale, and I get jellyfish and the seahorse?"

"Yes!"

"Okay here are the markers. It's just like your colouring books. Do whatever you want. Sound good?"

"Yeah!"

We coloured together for a long time. Mitch had left for practice so it was just me and my boy drawing together with some music in the background. I had finished my jellyfish and gray was done with the orca. He wanted free willy to look like free willy so he was only one colour.

"Are you colouring one special for each one?"

"Octopus is for Marly."

"So Willy is for baby brother?"

"Yup. What's his name gonna be?"

"We haven't decided yet. It's a big job naming a person ya know."

"How come?"

"It's just that they'll have their names forever. You want it to be a good one."

"Oh okay." He was quiet for a while before he asked, "When will the babies get here?"

"In a little while. Pretty soon actually. The doctor thinks they're going to come early even."

"I hope so. I can't wait."

"Me neither Gray. I'm very excited to meet them."

We kept colouring until Mitch came back home with William.

"Hey guys what's going on?"

"Uncle Willy!! We're colouring for the babies, look!" 

"Wow Gray you've done a really great job!"

"Thanks."

"Are you ready to come stay with me tonight?"

"Yeah!"

"We can eat pizza and ice cream and watch movies while mommy and daddy have boring adult time. Sound like a plan?"

"It's a plan!" He said giving William high ten.

"I think Mitchy packed a bag already." I said getting up. Mitch and Gray went upstairs to get him ready.

"Jeeez babes you're giant!"

"Thanks William I really needed that today." I said punching his shoulder.

"I'm just kidding (y/n)."

"The doctor thinks the babies are gonna be huge."

"Not good news for you."

"Meh I'm not too concerned. My body is built to do it."

"You excited for your last date for a while?"

"I am excited yeah. I don't know what we're doing or what I'm going to wear. I dont even know if I have anything nice that still fits. Aw man I'm gonna look like a slob for Mitchy." I whined.

"No you won't. You'll look beautiful and you'll have an amazing time. I promise you."

"I hope so. I've been really nervous lately about that. I feel like I've let myself go and Mitch is going to think I'm ugly and gross."

"Hun, you don't have to worry about that at all. He talks about you constantly. About how beautiful you are and about how he loves you more every day."

"That's crazy."

"He really loves you."

"I love him too. So much. Will I never thought I'd be so in love with someone."

"I'm happy for you." He gave me a hug as the boys came back in. "You ready to go little man?"

"Yeah let's go."

"Can I have a hug bye love?"

"Of course mommy." He ran over and hugged me tight. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and then patted my belly. "Bye bye babies."

"Bye Grayson."

"Love you mommy. Love you daddy." He said going to give Mitch a hug and kiss too.

"Bye buddy. We'll see you tomorrow morning okay?"

"Okay. Bye daddy. Bye mommy." He said dragging William towards the door. I started cleaning up our craft supplies and I heard Mitch talking to William.

"He needs to be in bed by 8:30. That's giving him an extra hour and a half after bedtime. If you feed him after 6 give him something a little healthy. (Y/n/n) prefers it. Also if anything happens call, we'll answer-"

"Marner, we're good. You guys enjoy your night. Good luck man."

"I hope it goes well."

"It will. You've got this." They were quiet for a minute before William spoke again. "Bye (y/n) have fun!"

"Bye boys! See you tomorrow."

I heard the door close and Mitch can in. He stood in the doorway for a minute watching before coming in and wrapping his arms around me from behind. Not an easy task with my giant tummy but he managed. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and I smiled leaning back against him.

"What did you guys do today?"

"We drew these for the babies." I said laying them out. "I just need to put them in the dryer to lock in the markers because I can't be bothered to iron them. Then they'll be baby ready."

"These are so cute."

"Gray made that one for Marly and this one for baby boy."

"Who are yours for?"

"Either one, I don't really care. I think I'm going to bring his to the hospital as babies first outfits. With the hats he picked out."

"I like that idea."

"Just another little thing that can really make Gray know he's part of this too."

"I love it. You're so thoughtful in everything you do. I just can't believe how lovely you are."

"Mitchy stoop." 

"Never." He turned me around and gave me one kiss which led into multiple kisses. "Okay no time for this right now. We need to go get dressed for our date."

"Okay." I gave him one last kiss and we made our way up into the big closet. I started looking through my clothes that still fit while Mitch got dressed in the room. He came in looking hot as ever and it made me feel even more nervous.

"What's wrong babe? You look sad."

"I'm gonna look ugly and embarrass you." I said sadly as a tear slipped out.

"Hey love, no you won't. I think you look absolutely gorgeous."

"Even with a giant bump?"

"Especially with the giant bump." He kissed my forehead and started looking through my clothes. "How about the blue dress you wore for the maternity pictures last week? That'll still fit right?"

"I hope so. Thank you Mitchy."

"You're welcome baby. Now get dressed and we'll be out of here."

I was lucky that the dress still fit. I was also lucky Mitch didn't get a car that was low to the ground because there'd be no way I'd get out of that. We drove a little ways to a nice restaurant we liked. The dinner wasn't very eventful. We talked a lot about hockey, a lot about Gray and how we're going to still give him attention with the babies. We talked about ourselves too and how we felt which was a nice change. After dinner we were walking around a small park near the arena talking more about the babies.

"We really need to decide a name lovey. It's getting so close."

"It's not that close. May 26th is still pretty far yet."

"Baby please be serious."

"I'm still really liking Dexter."

"I've been thinking about Dexter a lot too. Pretty much as soon as you said it I loved it."

"So let's call him Dexter. Dexter Joseph Marner. It's perfect."

"It is perfect. I love it. Baby Dexter and baby Marly. So precious."

"I'm glad we decided." He said swinging our hands. "Let's go inside and warm up a bit."

"Are we allowed?" I hadn't even noticed that we were at the arena until he was opening the door.

"Course we are. Come on."

"Where are we going Mitchy?"

"To the family room, come on." He dragged me all through the arena until we got there. Once we did he stood with me in the middle of the room.

"What's going on Mitchy?" I asked smiling at him softly.

"This is where I first met you. Where I first laid eyes on you. I heard you laughing and joking with Willy and my heart beat faster. I didn't ever even let myself get my hopes up that you'd ever have feelings for me. Then you got with Auston and I hated how you got so quiet and hidden away. Then you guys were off and you were your normal self again. Then you were back on and it hurt so bad seeing you taken by someone who really didn't appreciate you at all."

"Mitchy I'm sorry-"

"Babe let me finish please?"

"Okay sorry go ahead." I said giggling making him laugh and kiss me quick.

"Anyway then you guys were off again and you had little Gray in your belly. I wanted to be around constantly for both of you as whatever you needed. Then I kissed you and you kissed me and it all just blossomed into this amazing beautiful relationship. And now we're making our family bigger. I've never been happier than I am now."

"I never thought I'd be this happy Mitch. I mean that."

"I'm so in love with this family we're making. And I'm so in love with the way our life together is going. And most of all I am so, so, so in love with you (y/n)."

"Mitchy you're going to make me cry. I love you." I kissed him again and wiped my eyes when we broke apart.

"I guess there's just one more sappy sentimental thing left that I need to say." He lowered himself down to one knee and I started crying.

"Mitchy."

"(Y/n), you're my best friend in the whole world, the love of my life, and the mother of my children." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a box.

"Mitchy. Oh my God." I wiped my eyes and laughed as he opened the velvet box.

"Will you now please, please, please be my wife?"

"Yes. Yes! Mitchy of course! Yes!" He slid the ring on my finger while I cried into my hand. "God I love you more than I could ever express."

"I love you." He smiled and kissed me. It didn't work out great since we were both smiling and crying but it was the best feeling in the world. "I'm so glad you said yes."

"You thought I'd say no?!" I asked shocked.

"Well I thought you'd say yes because you've said you want to spend your life with me but we never talked about getting married."

"Lovey I would never think twice about promising myself to you forever in front of everyone. You're it Mitchy."

"I'm so happy."

"Me too."

"Let's head home. As sweet as this moment is, I really want to go home and spend the night with you. But first. I want to take a picture of you."

"But Mitch I look like a mess, I've been crying."

"Just cover your face with your left hand then. I think you've never glowed brighter the whole time I've known you. You're beautiful.

"Fine take the picture."

He did and he posted it on our way back to the car. I got a notification from Instagram and opened it to find me with a caption that said. 'April 29th 2020 she said yes'. It was simple but it was perfect and I told him that much. As we drove home I was floating so high in the clouds I didn't think I'd ever come down.

[bytheangell]

Traces of Love

(Read on AO3)

It’s a rare moment for Alec Lightwood’s mind to grow quiet enough for him to fully relax. More often than not it’s in the late hours of the evening, long after Magnus is passed out next to him under the covers after a long day of helping clients and local warlocks, that Alec even begins to unwind.

When he first started spending the night - not just after sex but whenever they were together (and especially when they weren’t and Alec still made it a point to go there anyway, more than willing to travel to and from the Institute every day if it meant going home to Magnus for the night) - Alec found that he was rarely able to fall asleep entirely still. At the beginning it was a moment of rubbing his thumb along the fabric of Magnus’ nightgown, a grounding sensation that reminded him this was real, that he got to have this. But now, more often than not, he often finds himself idly tracing the patterns of runes over Magnus’ exposed skin in soothing, repetitive motions until he falls asleep.

Good luck. Strength. Protected.

He traces them in slow movements with his calloused fingers, at first afraid it might be too rough or disruptive for Magnus’ own rest. But Magnus doesn’t seem to mind when he does it as they fall asleep together, and it doesn’t wake him when Alec does it after he’s already gone to sleep.

The longer they’re together, the more nights Alec is able to drift off in the comforting presence of his boyfriend, Alec finds himself adding another rune into the ritual without realizing.

Good luck. Strength. Protected. Love.

It wouldn’t surprise him if someone pointed it out, not with how strong and sure his love for Magnus Bane has grown since the moment Alec turned his entire world on it’s head to take a chance on him. On them. He loves Magnus and he’s certain there isn’t a single person in the entirety of the Shadow World who would dare doubt that claim.

After a long period of stress and uncertainty things in their life things finally settle, perhaps for good this time, and Alec’s mind begins to turn to one thought more and more frequently than any other. It’s the idea of the future, of spending however long his ‘forever’ may be with the man he loves. And this time when his fingers move in the usual repetition of runes over Magnus’ back, there’s a new one that’s been on Alec’s mind more often than he cares to admit. In another time it filled him with nothing but anxiety and dread, but now it fills him with contentment and warmth.

Good luck. Strength. Protected. Love. Wedded Union.

He traces it with visions of gold and blue in his head, of an Institute full of family and friends, Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike, a union of more than just himself and Magnus. Their relationship a promise to the world that they don’t always have to be at odds, working against one another. And a promise to each other that this is real, this is forever. He traces the rune, imagining it etched onto a ring Magnus wears for the rest of their life together, one that ends up in a box that Alec realizes now would be an honor to find himself represented in one day if it means his existence is something Magnus deems worth remembering through the cruel passage of time. But this time Alec knows he’s doing it, sneaking the rune in only when he’s certain Magnus is asleep because they haven’t even talked about it yet and he doesn’t want to be the one to bring it up first. What if it’s too early? He doesn’t want to make the same mistake he did when he suggested moving in together the first time. He doesn’t want to rush this if he’s the only one who’s reached that point of absolute certainty.

So Alec thinks, and traces, and dreams.

---

“I’m so sorry to drop him off like this,” Maryse says, though she’s already backing towards the door as she apologizes. “I didn’t have time to find a sitter, and-”

“It’s fine, Maryse. Max and I will find something fun to do until you get back, I’m sure,” Magnus says, eyeing the young Shadowhunter with a smile.

“Not until he finishes his rune practice!” Maryse reminds him, already half-out the door.

“Of course. Studies first!” Magnus reassures her.

“Are you sure you two will be alright?” Alec asks, frowning. “I can cancel my plans with Maia and stay--”

“Don’t you dare,” Magnus says, shaking his head. “Now go get ready. You know how Maia hates waiting.”

Alec hesitates just a moment before disappearing into the bathroom to shower and change, and Magnus keeps his promise to Maryse by sitting Max down at the table with his book of runes and paper set aside for drawing. When Alec comes back into the living room to Magnus explaining the importance of accurate drawing, Alec smiles until he hears the particular rune they’re discussing.

“For the ones that fade after one use, it’s a little less vital to get it perfect the first time. But some of them are there for good, and it’s imperative you get it right, especially if you’re drawing it on someone else. Take, for instance, the wedded union rune--” Alec freezes, watching as Magnus draws the rune out perfectly in one go, without reference. “The way these lines here overlap just a little, not ending perfectly matched up, is a very important detail.” Magnus’ eyes dart up to meet Alec’s, just for a second, but it’s enough. Alec knows that Magnus knows. “You don’t want to get too confident in drawing a rune over and over every night that you brush over the finer details--” Magnus keeps talking to Max but Alec zones out a bit, not hearing the rest of whatever he’s teaching.

He doesn’t know why he thought Magnus wouldn’t notice the rune. Maybe he figured it wasn’t one that would be important to him specifically, so why should he have it memorized enough to catch it as he drifts off to sleep? But that was foolish, because Magnus has been around forever - he helped created the portal, by the Angel! - of course he would know the basic sets of runes.

He thought Magnus was asleep when he traced it but maybe he grew a bit too bold lately. Too eager. Too comfortable.

“Something wrong, Alexander?” Magnus asks, cutting into his thoughts. Alec hesitates, glancing at Max and his book of runes, and shakes his head.

“No. I gotta go, I’ll see you later.” He says, before seizing the opportunity to take his leave as quickly as possible, wondering how he’s going to deal with this later.

He doesn’t want to think about what it might mean, if Magnus noticed him tracing that particular rune on him every night for weeks without mentioning it, but he isn’t eager to find out just then. And if meeting up with Maia buys him a few hours before facing that reality, he’s going to take it.

---

When Alec gets back Max is gone, and Magnus is in bed with a book that he places a marker in and closes at the sight of Alec in the doorframe.

“...we should, uh, probably talk.” Alec says, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“I was wondering if you were just going to pretend you didn’t catch my hint earlier,” Magnus says, and to Alec’s relief he’s smiling.

For now.

“I always thought you were asleep,” Alec defends, as if that somehow changes anything about the intent behind the action. It pretty much amounts to ‘I didn’t think I’d be caught’, which probably isn’t the best sentiment to attach to thoughts of marriage.

“It took me a little while to place it, when you started drawing it. But once I did… maybe I pretended to sleep, to wait for it once and awhile. Just to see if you were still doing it.” Magnus admits, tone impressively neutral.

“That long?” Alec groans, making his way a few steps into the bedroom.

“I don’t know when you started, but I’m sure I caught on relatively early.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Alec asks, not sure he wants the answer.  Because I didn’t want to break it to you that I don’t feel the same. Because we’re never going to get married. Because we’re too different for that life, it was never meant for us.

Instead, the answer he gets back is unexpected - so much so that it startles him enough to stop him dead in the middle of the room.

“Because I didn’t want you to stop.” Magnus’ words are simple and honest in a way that nearly brings Alec to tears.

“Oh,” Alec says, voice soft as the meaning of Magnus’ words sink in.

“You’re not the only one who likes to fall asleep thinking of our future, you know.”

Our future.

“I know that now,” Alec says, smiling as he finishes getting undressed, sliding under the covers next to Magnus.

They don’t say anything more on it just then, letting the moment settle between them for the time being. There’s no need to rush, after all. They both have their forever together ahead of them, and they both know that now. It’ll come soon enough.

Magnus turns the lights off and they settle in next to one another, Alec’s arm instinctively draping over Magnus, his fingers starting to move before hesitating over the skin of his shoulder.

“Having second thoughts?” Magnus questions, and Alec realizes he was about to do the very thing Magnus was afraid of - stopping now that he knows Magnus is paying attention, now that it carries a conscious weight more serious than an absent-minded bedtime ritual.

“No,” Alec is quick to reassure. “Not about you. Never about us.”

He presses his finger to the skin of Magnus’ shoulder, tracing the first line. This time as they drift off to sleep Alec starts with the wedded union rune, making careful note to overlap the lines at all the right spots.

After all, this is one he doesn’t plan on messing up.

This one is forever, and he’s going to get it right the first time.

[lostinreality014]

Part V - Bad Dreams & Bedtime Stories

Author’s Notes: Hi lovelies! Here’s Part V, the second to last part of the series. While the flashback part of this chapter was a bit difficult for me to write, it was still my favorite part to write. I’m not going to say why here because it will give it away. As always, thank you for the likes, replies, reblogs, etc. I truly appreciate the feedback and love seeing the comments in the tags of the reblogs. 

Thank you @imagine-that-one-thing​ and @stylishmuser​ for being betas to this series and for your suggestions and words of encouragement.

All rights reserved. I do not give permission for this piece to be reposted on any platform.

[Catch Up Here]

Part V

“That’s the story of how daddy and I said ‘I love you’ for the first time. I’ll never forget that night,” I said softly. It was true. I never would. That was also the night he asked me to go with him to Cheshire to visit his family - also known as the first time I met his family in person - the following weekend depending on how my initial audition for Wicked went.

When I glanced down at Mia, I smirked. She had been still through most of the story and finally succumbed to sleep. At least I hoped. I carefully slid off the bed before scooping her up into my arms and carrying her back down the hall to her bedroom. Once she was all tucked in again, I tip toed to her door and was about to do a victory dance for the second time that night the I heard her sleepy voice from the door.

“Can you sing, mumma?” she slurred sleepily. I turned to see her sitting up, looking at me hopefully through heavily lidded eyes.

“Not right now, munchkin. It’s very late. We can sing in the morning before Auntie Gem comes to get you.”

“When’s daddy gon be home?” She asked, snuggling back down under her covers. I asked over and sat down next to her, smiling gently at her.

“Three more sleeps, remember?” Mia nodded.

“Can I watch Ella?” she asked, referring to Cinderella.

“Absolutely not.” I said firmly. “It’s way past your bedtime and I’ve already let you stay up too late. It’s time for sleep now.”

“One more story?” she begged.

“Amelia Grace. You fell asleep. Our deal was I tell you stories until you fall asleep.”

“But I didn’t mean to.” She whined. “One more, mumma. Pease?” I looked at her sternly, but it didn’t phase her. She unleashed the full blown puppy eyes and pout on me. I was determined to stand my ground.

“Pretty pease?” Dammit. I scolded myself.

“One. And I mean it. Only one more. Understood?” She nodded. “What story do you want to hear? It’s the last one tonight so make it a good one.”

“What’s daddy’s happy day?” she asked me as I sat down next to her.

“Like the best day of his life?” she nodded. “I know for a fact daddy was very, very, happy when you were born. He says that was the best day of his life. But I also know he was very happy the day we got married. And I think the night he and your uncles won their first Brit Award was one of his happiest days too.”

“Is he gonna win more wards?”

“Anything is possible, munchkin.”

“I hope he does. Whats about you? Whats your happy day?”

“I have five happy days.” I told her, holding up five fingers. “They’re all special to me. One of my happy days was when I met daddy. Another was the day daddy and I found out I was pregnant with you. Another was…”

“The day you gots me?!” she asked happily. I laughed and gently tapped her nose.

“Of course, munchkin. My fourth day is the day daddy proposed and the fifth day is the day we got married.”

“What’s posed?”

“Proposed is when daddy got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.”

“I wants ta hear that story!” Mia squealed. “I wants ta hear how daddy asked you ta marry him! Was it romantical? Like in my princess stories?”

“It was very romantic.” I said with a smile. “It was more than I could have ever dreamed of.”

***Flashback*** When I arrived home from my shift at the cafe mid-afternoon, it was to find Aubrey sitting on the sofa in our living room clearly waiting for me.

“What’s going on?” I asked, as I dropped my bag in the empty chair and leaning against it.

“Nothing,” she replied, that all knowing smile on her lips.

“Bull shit nothing is going on. You know something.”

“I know nothing.” I narrowed my eyes at her.

“Mhm.” I hummed. “Seriously… what’s going on?”

“I really don’t know anything. Was just asked to give you this,” she replied holding out an envelope for me. I walked around the chair, took the envelope from her, and sat down before opening it.

Hi my love. I have a little something special planned for you tonight. Hope you’re ready for a little adventure. Go to the place where we first met. -H xx

“Something special?” I muttered. “You’re sure you don’t know anything?”

“Promise I know nothing. I have an idea, but when have my inklings ever been right?” she asked with a knowing smirk. I snorted a laugh in response.  

“Alright, well, I guess I’m off to see what he’s up to. I’ll be back at some point. Maybe.” Aubrey giggled.

“Take pictures if you can. And commit everything to memory so you can tell me all about it.”

“I’ll try. See you later.”

“Have fun.” She smiled as I grabbed my purse and keys out of the chair and headed back out to my car.

*   *   *   *

Half an hour later, I pulled into the empty parking lot at the building of what used to the be xFactor studios. Since the show had grown, they’d moved to a location that was more centrally located in London with much more room to house a larger stage and larger studio audiences.

Since this building was empty I knew it wouldn’t be open. So I drove around the parking lot looking for any clues as to where he might be, or at least maybe another note. It wasn’t until the second loop around the building that I spotted a red envelope taped to the door that we’d all walked out of the night we found out we hadn’t been eliminated. After parking as close to the building as I could, I hopped out of the car and hurried over to the door, carefully pulling the envelope off.

I’ll never forget the night we met. We didn’t get a chance to talk long that night, and I know it was quite forward to ask to keep in touch, but I knew we had something special.

Now go to the place where we satisfy our sweet tooth cravings. -H xx

I smiled and tucked the note back into the envelope as I made my way back to the car.

*   *   *   *

Twenty minutes later, I successfully parallel parked in front of our favorite cafe, which also happened to be the same cafe I worked at full time when I was in between shows.

“Blake!” Liz exclaimed in surprise. “I thought you worked the morning shift today so you could spend the night with that handsome man of yours for your anniversary.” Liz said when I walked in.

“I did work this morning,” I smiled. “Apparently that handsome man of mine left something here for me.”

“That would explain the lone red envelope at your favorite table.” she winked.

“Yes it would.”

“Well, go see what he’s left for you. Enjoy whatever it is he has planned, and I want all the details.”

“I’ll try to remember them all,” I smiled as I made my way toward the booth in the back corner of the cafe that we always occupied when we’d come in for a little dessert, or when he’d meet me on my meal break.

Remember the night we stayed well after you finished closing up sitting in this very booth talking? I still don’t know whether or not Liz was upset with us being there when she came in to open. That’s still one of my favorite nights spent with you.

Now go to the place where we had our first date and shared our first kiss. -H xx

I smiled as I folded the note and tucked it back into the envelope, making sure it was safely in my purse before heading back up front. Liz smiled and waved as I walked past the counter. I returned her smile before pushing open the door and making my way down the sidewalk toward my car.

*   *   *   *

It took me nearly forty-five minutes to get to Battersea Park, and by the time I paid the parking attendant, I was more than a little annoyed. With all the time spent in the car driving between the places he was sending me, I had more than enough time to think about what he was up to. And even though I wasn’t sure of anything at this point, I felt like I was on a bit of a schedule.

I all but jogged from the park entrance to the hidden alcove where we went on our first date. I nearly missed the hidden opening in the brush as it had grown in quite a bit. After a couple of minutes, I noticed that some of the new growth had been disrupted, an indication that Harry had been here recently. I followed the path he had taken and finally stepped through into the clearing. It was still just as beautiful as I remembered, and it was remarkably well kept for an area that I knew wasn’t tended to like the rest of the park.

It didn’t take long to spot the next red envelope at the bottom of the tree trunk. It was tucked neatly between the trunk and a rock to keep it from blowing away. I hurried over and gently pulled it from it’s spot, opening the flap and pulling out the next note.

I can’t believe it took me so long to ask you out. It’s the best first date I’ve ever been on and I’m so glad you said yes to being my girlfriend that night. It’s a night I know I’ll never forget.

Now go to the place where we told each other those three very special words for the first time. -H xx

Tears burned my eyes as I folded the note and put it back into the envelope before tucking it into my purse next to the other notes I’d collected so far. Once I made it back through the hidden opening in the trees, I sprinted back to my car.

*   *   *   *

When I walked back through the door to mine and Aubrey’s flat half an hour later, she was still on the sofa where she had been when I left. And once again, she was waiting for me with another all knowing smile plastered to her face.

“You’ve seen him haven’t you?” I asked.

“I have. He just stopped by and dropped this off for you,” she replied, holding up another red envelope.

“You’re sure you have no idea what’s going on?”

“Not a clue. And you know I can’t keep a secret to save my life so there was no chance in hell he would have told me.”

“You can keep secrets,” I smirked as I walked over and picked up the envelope.

“Ok, yes I can. If I’m the one that’s scheming. Can’t tell you how many birthdays I ruined for my mum cause I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.” I laughed.

“Fair enough,” I giggled as I pulled out the next note.

Hearing you say you loved me for the first time is another moment I will never forget. I’m pretty sure I was already in love with you the night of our first date, but I just wasn’t aware of it. Seeing you in your element for the first time… that’s when it hit me. I wish I could explain it better, but I don’t have the words.

Now go to the place where we celebrated our one year anniversary.  ;) -H xx

“You staying put or headed back out?”

“Headed back out. At this rate, I might see you again before the night ends, or I might not.”

“Considering how cryptic he’s being, I’ll see you sometime tomorrow. Maybe.” I snorted a laugh but nodded in agreement.

“Thanks for putting up with all this.” she rolled her eyes.

“Are you kidding? This is just as exciting for me as it is for you. Now get outta here and go see what’s waiting for you at your next note.”

“See you at some point,” I laughed as I turned and headed back to the door.

“I’ll be right here waiting for the details,” she called loudly as I opened the door.

*   *   *   *

Little more than half an hour later, I pulled into Harry’s driveway, parking next to his Range. I wasn’t sure if he was home or not. Depending on what his schedule was for the day before our date tonight, and where he was going to be throughout the day, there was a real possibility he’d have Dale drive him to and from where he needed to be for safety reasons.

Pushing open the door to his bedroom, my eyes immediately landed upon the box and red envelope laying on top of the duvet. I dropped my purse and keys on the floor in front of his dresser before crossing the room and picking up the envelope.

Not much longer til we see each other. There’s a little something I think you’ll like in the box. And since I know you aren’t a fan of spas and really only trust Lou, she’ll be by to pamper you for a bit. Then Dale will be there around seven to pick you up. He’ll have your next note. I can’t wait to see you. -H xx

No sooner had I reached for the box to see what was inside did I hear Lou’s voice calling from downstairs. I called out to let her know I was upstairs. I knew she’d know to head to Harry’s room.

“Do you know what he’s got planned?” I asked the moment she appeared in the doorway.

“I do. And you’ll not get a peep outta me. I value my life and my job. He’s also one of my best mates and I’m not about to ruin his plans. I also know that you’re going to love what he’s planned for you two tonight.”

“Fair enough,” I said with a smile as I turned my attention to the box.

“You’ve not opened it yet?”

“I’ve only just arrived. He’s sent me all over London today.”

“Well, go on then.” Rolling my eyes fondly at her, I untied the ribbon and lifted the lid off the box. After unfolding the tissue paper, I gasped as my eyes landed on what had been so neatly wrapped. Harry has surprised me with many gorgeous dresses for various events over our years together. But there was something about this one that was infinitely more gorgeous. Perhaps it was because of what today was for us. Perhaps it wasn’t. But there was something special about this dress.

“Oh he’s good,” Lou smirked as I lifted the dress out of the box.

“This is too much,” I whispered.

“Would you expect any less considering it’s your five year anniversary?” Lou asked, taking the dress from my hands before walking over to hang my dress up on the back of our closet door.

“No.” I smiled, admiring the dress.

“Didn’t think so. Now, I think it’s time for you to have a nice soak in that glorious tub of his. I do believe he just stocked up on your favorite bath bombs.” she said, placing her hands on my shoulders before turning me around and walking me towards the bathroom.

*   *   *   *   

“You all ready?” Lou asked when I stepped off the staircase nearly two hours later. She’d spoiled me rotten with one of the best facials I’d ever had followed by an even more relaxing hair treatment. Then she’d spoiled me even further by doing my hair and make-up for the evening.

“I think so. I can’t wait to see what he’s up to.”

“Not much longer. And I’ve been asked to give you this.” Dale said with a smile, holding out another red envelope.

“Thank you,” I smiled as I took it from him and turning it over to pull out the note inside.

Now that you’ve been spoiled and pampered by Lou, and are without a doubt looking more beautiful than ever, head to the place where you made your West End debut. I’ll see you very soon. I love you. -H xx

“Where are we off to then?” Dale asked.

“Something tells me you already know, but Her Majesty’s Theatre.” He nodded with a knowing smile and headed for the front door, Lou and I following him.

“Let him spoil you tonight, yeah?”

“Don’t think I have much of a choice,” I smiled as Lou helped me into my coat.

“Not really. Don’t worry about the house. I’ll make sure everything is locked up tight when I leave.”

*   *   *   *

“Here we are, love.” Dale said with a smile as he pulled up in front of the theatre.

“I have no idea what’s going on, but thank you for going along with it.”

“Don’t mention it,” he smiled. “I was told the door the box office staff uses is open for you.”

“Good to know. And thank you again. I expect I’ll see you in a bit?”

“Most likely. Enjoy your night.”

I stepped out onto the sidewalk in front of the theatre and adjusted my coat as it’d gotten a bit twisted around me as I slid out of the front seat. The majority of West End theaters were dark on Sundays, so it was a little surprising that it was as crowded as it was. But I used the crowd to my advantage and managed to sneak around the side of the building, slipping into the box office unnoticed.

Once my eyes adjusted to the semi-darkness, I noticed a small sign taped to the door that lead out to the lobby.

July 26, 2010 The day we met

I smiled and ran my fingers across his handwriting before gently peeling it off and pushing open the door. After closing the door gently, I turned to my right as the arrow indicated, looking for any clue to tell me where to go next. A few paces from where I was, I saw another note taped to the side of the display case where Phantom merchandise was sold.

September 17, 2012 You got the call you were cast in your first West End show

I peeled the note off and placed it on top the one I was already holding and looking around to my left, seeing another sign on the door frame leading to house left bar area.

August 19, 2013 Our first date and our first kiss

From there I circled my way back into the lobby where the next date was attached to one of the doors that lead down toward the orchestra pit.

November 8, 2013 The night we said ‘I love you’

Collecting that note, I pushed open the door and made my way down the stairs to the room where the musicians uncased and stored their instrument cases during performances. The next note to be found was on the door leading to the hallway where the chorus dressing rooms were located.

March 7, 2014 You made your Broadway debut as leading lady in Wicked

How I didn’t realize it until now was beyond me. He was highlighting the important moments in our relationship, and highlighting the moments in my career that I knew he was most proud of. It brought tears to my eyes and made me think what he had planned was more than just a little something extra for our five year anniversary.

Stepping into the hallway that lead toward the chorus dressing rooms was overwhelming. I hadn’t been in this building since my run in Phantom had ended. Being here, brought on a flood of wonderful memories. As I walked down the hall looking for the next sign, I took a few extra seconds to take in the few changes that had been made, and smiling at the things that had been left the same. As I turned into the corridor that houses the stage left chorus dressing rooms, I spotted the next note.

April 15, 2015 You were cast in your second leading role on the Once National Tour

Adding that note to the pile in my hands, I very slowly made my way up the stairs to the next level of dressing rooms and the wardrobe room, spotting the next sign on the door to the wardrobe room.

December 22, 2016 You got the call you’d been cast as Roxie Hart in Chicago

I added another sign to the pile in my hand and made my way to the opposite end of the ��corridor and turning to my left. The next sign was on the cast notice bulletin board.

May 12, 2017 You stood by my side as I dropped my first solo album

That one made me tear up again. I’ll never forget sitting up with him at midnight as his album officially dropped and seeing all the responses pour in. I’d never been more proud of him than I was in that moment. He’d accomplished so much with One Direction, but his solo album, that was his baby. That was something he’d been wanting to do for a long time. And to see him accomplish what he’d set out to do and be completely happy with the end result was one of my proudest moments. We won’t get into how proud I was of him when he told me he’d booked his role in Dunkirk.

I pulled down the sign from the bulletin board and added it to my pile as I climbed the stairs and found myself on the main stage level. The next sign I saw was taped to the empty props table.

August 19, 2018 Five years together and here’s to many more

I noticed the arrow drawn on it was pointing toward the stage. For some reason, I knew that was the last sign. So I set the signs I’d collected down on the table along with my clutch before slipping my jacket it off and laying it down on the table. When I stepped into the wing where I made my first entrance from nearly six years ago, my heart started racing, and tears burned the backs of my eyes. Standing at center stage was my rock and the love of my life. Reminding myself to breathe, I stepped out onto the stage I’d made my West End debut on just as he turned to see me.

“You’re here.” he breathed, his eyes lighting up, that knee weakening smile stretching across his lips. “You’re gorgeous.”

“Thank you,” I smiled shyly at him as he laced his fingers with mine. “You look pretty handsome yourself.” I rose up on my tip toes to place a gentle kiss to his lips. “Are we even allowed to be here right now?” he chuckled and kissed my forehead.

“We are. I made a few phone calls.”

“So why here?” I asked with a smile, knowing he’d knew exactly what I was asking.

“Because this was the first time I saw you in your element. Because when I saw you on this stage nearly five years ago, I knew I’d fallen totally and completely in love with you. Because I can’t think of any other place to ask you one very important question.” I gasped softly as he walked us upstage so we were standing at the center, center mark.

“Harry…” I whispered.

“I’d planned this all out in my head. Had all these things I want to say…” his voice faded and as much as I was trying to keep myself together, I knew he was struggling just as much.

“I love you, Blake. I’m so deeply in love with you that I never want to come up for air, and I want to be yours for the rest of my life. You know when someone walks into your life, and you know in the pit of your stomach they were meant to be there and be a part of it?” I nodded, tears now trailing down my cheeks. I could see the tears pooling in his beautiful green eyes and I hiccuped softly.

“That’s you, B. I knew the moment I hugged you before we went off to the next round you were meant to be a part of my life. I want everything with you. I want to grow old with you. I want to have a family with you. I want to travel the world with you and be the sunshine in your life when it’s gray and rainy out or when life throws us a curve ball.” I didn’t miss the small hiccup in his voice as he let go of my hands to reach into his pocket before dropping down to one knee. I buried my face in my hands for a moment, trying to collect myself.

“I want you forever, Blake.” He said softly as he gently pulled my hands from my face. “I love you so much it hurts in all the right ways. I love you because you love me for me, flaws and all. I love you because you know me better than I know myself. I love you because you’re still with me despite all our time spent apart because of our careers. I know we’re still young, I know we have a lot of things we still want to accomplish, but I also know that you’re it for me. I know that you’re the one I want by my side through it all. And I want to be by your side to see all your dreams come true.” We both took shaky breaths, and soft sob escaped when I noticed a single tear escape from the corner of his eyes.

“Mum always told me that the person I fall in love with and marry should be my best friend. And I thought that was a bit odd when I was younger.” I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped. “But now I understand what she meant. And with you, I know I have and I know I will. I know you’re not one for big gestures like this. I know how much you hate this kind of thing.” I giggled and nodded in agreement. “And I know you don’t need all of this to know we’re it, but I wanted to give you this moment all the same. Would you…” he hiccuped softly, “Would you be my forever? Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” I choked out through tears. “A thousand times yes!” He let out a breath I’m sure he was holding, even though he had no reason to believe I would say anything other than yes. I watched through tears as he pulled the ring from the box and setting the box down on the stage next to him. The moment he slid the ring on my finger, I cupped his face and kissed him. When I pulled back a few moments later, pinning my forehead to his, I saw that he was no longer holding back the tears.

“I love you, Harry Styles,” I whispered as I brushed the tears from his face. “And I can’t wait to be your forever.”

[chiauve]

Algernon - Day 21

(Note: We are 21 days in and Jet isn’t awake yet omg how do I do this every time...)(But SOON)

           Gilmore was there to greet them when they arrived that evening. His welcome of his colleague was warmer than Joe's, but then Gilmore and Grant had been sharing correspondences long before the cyborgs ever met the doctor.

           "I figured we'd let you settle in for the night and then get started fresh in the morning," Gilmore explained, ushering Grant and Joe indoors. The rest of the cyborgs were in the front room and a round of introductions took place, though they had all met Grant before once or twice over the last couple of years, but he could never seem to keep them all straight.

           "I was hoping to look over the lab before retiring, if I may? Maybe take a copy of the plans for the 002 unit for some bedtime reading," Grant suggested.

           "I'll show you the lab and introduce you to Jet, though he's still unconscious. I'm sorry but I do not leave hard copies of my cyborgs' designs lying around. They would be too easily copied or stolen. I hope you understand."

           "Of course. You can give me a rundown of the plan of attack while we're down there, then."

           Joe took Grant's bags up to his room while the others dispersed, Chang to prepare dinner and the others to find something to busy them until then. Joe would stay the night with Francoise during the duration of Dr. Grant's stay. She'd earlier taken one look at Joe's room before he left for the airport and pulled at her hair.

           "How does this place look worse and worse every time I see it? How are you so messy?"

           "Honestly? Jet was the one who always cleaned up, not me. I kinda got used to it."

           "Jet's been gone for two years!"

           "It's been a messy two years."

           She'd all but tossed Joe out of his own room to clean up and prepare it for Dr. Grant herself. Joe hurried out the front door but still heard her scream when she got to his sink. He might have forgotten to rinse it out for the last couple of weeks. Two years of not having an angry six-foot-plus American after you when you didn't clean up tended to make one careless.

           That was one of the reasons Joe never realized Jet's hair was dyed. When he was done with the sink it was immaculate. Clean sink, clean shower, swept floor, but otherwise Jet's bed was unmade and he had a habit of tossing his pants wherever.

           The house hadn't been the same without Jet's clothes showing up in random places.

           Joe placed Grant's bags on the bed and hurried back downstairs, catching up with the two professors as they descended into the underground laboratories. Gilmore glanced back at him and Joe just shrugged. What else was he going to do for a while?

           Dr. Grant looked like a child in a candy store as Gilmore showed him the labs and equipment. He oohed and ahhed and wanted to admire and touch everything. Gilmore couldn't help but beam in pride a little.

           They moved into the battle room so Gilmore could show Grant 002's specs on the large 3D projector.

           "What I'll mostly need help with will be the construction of the body itself and the primary artificial organs," Gilmore explained, scrolling through the broken down sections of the cybernetic specs, "Even now I could attach 002's limbs in my sleep."

           "Are you planning on making any alterations to the design?"

           "Not this time. I'd rather not add extra stress to Jet by making changes he's not expecting. I can always upgrade him later; he's used to it. However, I'd like to keep the thrusters offline until I know he's ready, so we may have to temporarily disable the neuro-connectors. He knows how to override and refuel the jets himself otherwise."

           Grant gestured to the bright neon lines streaking through the framework, dulled only by the mechanics related to the thrusters. "Is that an accelerator? Like 009?"

           "An older model, but yes. 002 rarely uses it, though that's probably for the best. He wasn't designed for heavy power output of that kind and the accelerator is draining; that power is better used for his high-speed mode. The accelerator also has a tendency to disrupt the bonding of his armor. I leave it active though, you never know. One split second could mean life or death, right, 009?"

           "Yeah," Joe muttered. There had been many split seconds, Joe thought, and Jet still never used it. He could have saved himself using it when the two of them went after the nuclear warheads in space. He could have brought down Maximoff without destroying himself with it. Had the accelerator been damaged and Jet just never said anything? Had he been that low on power?

           Gilmore led them to a smaller side-lab that also functioned as his office where he could escape his sometimes very noisy cyborgs to work on his own projects.

           "Before we head up for dinner there's one last thing to show you," he said to Dr. Grant, and went to the containment unit in the back of the room. "This is Jet Link. It's his body you'll be helping me construct."

           Once moved from the Dolphin III's lab, Gilmore had placed Jet's head in containment and ran a gamut of scans and performed full diagnostics. He'd happily reported no physical damage to Jet's brain and that the cybernetic one was still registering as acceptable. Since then Gilmore installed a new pair of eyes and replaced the tongue and some missing teeth, as well as all the scanners, the chronometer, the translator, and the near-burnt out emergency power and oxygen supplier. He also installed a new transmitter and receiver but planned to keep them offline until Jet had been conscious for a few days.

           Aside from the fact Jet's cheeks were still too hollow, he looked much more like how Joe remembered him. His hair was a bit shorter, but blond and unmatted. Francoise did a good job combing it in such a way that the patches where his hair had fallen out or been shaved were covered. The dangling vertebrae were still there and made a macabre addition but Gilmore pointed out that there were some surviving nerves he would try to preserve so the damaged vertebrae would stay intact until they fused Jet's head with his new body.

           Despite these improvements, Grant took a look at Jet and stepped back in shock.

           "I, uh…" he stammered.

           "It's okay," Joe assured him, "I know it's a bit unnerving, but trust me he looks much better than he did."

           "Yes, of course. Excuse me, I just didn't expect that, I guess."

           Gilmore's brows rose slightly in surprise at Grant's discomfort but then shrugged. "You're brilliant at cybernetics, Phineas, but you always forget cyborgs involve people."

           "Yes, yes, you're right. Sorry." Grant still hurried out of the room once he was able.

           Joe smirked. "You make the weirdest friends, Doctor."

           "Let's just hope he's still able to eat dinner," Gilmore sighed then followed his colleague back up into the house.

           The cyborgs were banned from the labs unless Gilmore specifically called for one of them.

           This may or may not have been due to uncomfortable hovering.

           As such, they went about their chores, played the same board games again and again, or sat around pretending they were reading, or working, or doing anything but thinking about what was going on in the labs below them.

           Two years they thought Jet dead, but now the fact that he wouldn't be back and walking among them for at least another week was too long for Joe to stand. He'd given up trying to play video games when he couldn't focus and kept dying and now was just sitting in front of the fireplace waiting for Gilmore to call him, even though the professor was far more likely to call Francoise if he needed one of them.

           Still, among the impatience was an underlying feeling of happiness. Jet was alive and would soon indeed be back among them. Chang already announced he was going to make the American's favorite meal for him once he recovered.

           "What would that be?" Albert asked over his newspaper.

           "Chicken curry tetrazzini."

           "I was not expecting that."

           "Well it was either that or grilled cheese sandwiches but that seemed a bit underwhelming, considering."

           "Wait," Pyunma said, "you said his favorite meal. Don't tell me you're also serving…"

           "Yes. With the tetrazzini we'll be having alcoholic root beer floats. And some crappy chicken nuggets leftover from that fast food place in town he loved so much. I would never serve such a thing normally but he loved them so…"

           "The longer in the fridge and the more congealed the grease the better, yeah."

           Chang visibly shuddered. "And for dessert…"

           "No!" Pyunma and Albert yelled simultaneously.

           "Yes! Banana slices in milk with sugar!"

           "Oh thank god I thought it was going to be something deep fried again," Pyunma sighed, "I'm not gonna eat it anyway but still."

           "I'm pretty sure Jet will be the only one eating it," Chang agreed, "But I'm going to have to get the ingredients soon, I don't have everything here."

           Albert folded his newspaper and put it on the coffee table. "We could do that now, it's not like we're doing anything. And this early in rebuilding Jet's body I doubt the professor will need our help.

           Joe leapt on the idea. "I've been thinking. Jet doesn't have any clothes. We're going to have to get him some."

           "Oh damn, you're right. Anything of his burned down with the house two years ago," Pyunma said.

           "Well," Albert fidgeted, "Not everything. He had a box in storage, but the only thing wearable in it was a pair of slippers and his old AC/DC shirt."

           "Then we'll get that for him."

           "Uh, thing is, that was the shirt he got at that concert he dragged me to. We stood around forever to get a shirt and by the time he got up to the table they didn't have his size, so he bought something a bit bigger."

           "…You've been wearing his shirt, haven't you."

           "I waited with him for that damn shirt and it fits. I mean it's kind of snug in the chest but…"

           "Is that why you always wear it when Lucy's around?" Chang snickered.

           Albert glared.

           In the end, just about every cyborg piled into two cars and drove into town. They'd barely finished asking Ivan if he wanted to go when he turned around and glared at them. He hated his car seat and drove nowhere unless absolutely required.

          It was apparently too much to ask just to buy a couple of pairs of jeans and a few shirts for Jet. For one thing, no one could remember what sizes he used. The other problem was Joe himself, who insisted on getting more than just the bare essentials.

           "We have to show we care, you guys! Get him some stuff he'd actually want, not just what will do."

           "He likes to do his own shopping, Joe," Albert sighed, "and he prefers to do it by himself. I don't even know where he usually bought his clothes."

           "You could just give him back his shirt, Heinrich."

           "No."

           "You don't even like AC/DC."

           Pyunma walked up carrying a few jackets and vests. "Did Jet like plaid? I can't remember."

           "Only if you're okay with him singing the 'Lumberjack Song' nonstop."

           "That's a no, then," he said and hurried away before he got sucked into whatever Joe and Albert were bitching about.

           GB was next to pop up, leaning unhappily on a shirt rack. "Unfortunate question, my lads, but was Jet a briefs or boxers man?"

           Joe sighed and rubbed at his temples. "Recently, when he had to, boxers."

           "When he had to? Don't tell me."

           "Commando. Jet had no shame. I think I saw his dick more than my own."

           "Sorry I asked. Why didn't you tell us rooming with him was so horrible, Joe?"

           "Because then you'd make sure I was stuck with him so you wouldn't have to be."

           "Damn straight."

           "Look what I found!" Francoise cried, holding up a shirt as though it was the Holy Grail. It was a hideous collared shirt with tiny American flags printed on it.

           "Put that in the cart right now. I'm going to go find an ugly tie to go with it," Albert said and ducked away into the racks.

           "What about shoes? Anyone know Jet's size?"

           "Gilmore makes Jet's shoes so he can fly with them. Don't worry about it."

           "I'm getting Jet this cute pink toothbrush and no one can stop me!"

           "Those jeans are too loose, Jet likes to show off his ass."

           "…Why do you know these things."

           "I got him a brush too!"

           "I'm pretty sure this is Jet's cologne. It smells like 'I'm trying too hard'."

           "Jet doesn't like big sweaters, Franny. He wears jackets."

           "Too bad, he's getting a giant woolen sweater. He's going to be adorable."

           "Look at this shirt. It's got a little angry eagle on it. I'm getting it for him."

           Geronimo tossed a cowboy hat into the cart without a word.

           "We're not buying him a whole wardrobe, guys!" Pyunma shouted as he looked at the overflowing cart.

[pinkipie100]

Lance and the 25 Days Chapter V: Clay

Yo, guess who? Also, later that usual! HAHAHAHAHA, THAT MEANS ANOTHER MORNING REBLOG, HAHAHAHAHA!!! Okay, hysteria and sleep deprivation aside, I’m pretty proud of this one; Pidge is my favorite character, and I’d die for her, so whenever I get to write her, it’s a real blast! Another note is that at the end of this chapter, I included something as a humor aspect that I should have realized was a stupid idea. The thing about Ficcember is that I want to keep it as broad as possible, so I want to keep it both strictly clean of ships, as well as clean in general; it seems my sense of humor simply cannot go long without dropping swears. I apologize, but I because of this, I have censored the word completely. Those who know the book, or heck, even those who haven’t can probably fill in the blank if they so desire. Thanks for reading, and happy holidays!

Words:2012

Category: Gen

Contains: brOT3 Shalluridge, dreidels, Holt Family Feels [esp. Matt], triggering peanuts, Gunderangst, black paladin!Lance, in a way, considerate!Lance, bedtimes stories, censorship, Go the F*ck to Sleep

Takes place the afternoon after the Space Mall escapade in Chapter IV.

Allura was observing Pidge carefully as she measured out the sculpting sand. The young paladin appeared to run complex calculations completely mentally as she determined the correct proportions and weight for the dreidel to spin properly, like a top. Hunk had given the teen a set of tools to help her sculpt, and she had smoothed the sides of the dreidel to perfection. Allura gasped when Pidge picked up a tool only to ruin the perfectly flat sides of the dreidel, carving in an indent. Pidge explained that the princess had no need to worry, as everything she was doing was intentional. Allura resumed spectating while Pidge carved strange symbols. They had some features similar to Altean, but they were otherwise unrecognizable to the young Altean woman.

Pidge, once finished carving the indents, held one side of the dreidel up to Allura. She told her, “So this one-” she pointed to a three-pronged symbol, “-is shin. When you spin that, you add a piece of whatever game currency we’re using to the pot. This-” Pidge signaled to a symbol on a different side, “-is nun. When you get this, it means you don’t do anything, and the next person spins. This next one-” Pidge gestured to a symbol that looked like and unfinished box, “-is hey, and the player who spins this gets half of the pot. This word, everyone’s favorite-” the green paladin smirked mischievously, “-is gimel, and it means you get to take the whole pot.”

“Fascinating! So, this is a gambling game?” Allura asked. Pidge nodded with a cute smile, and the princess voiced, “I thought that gambling was illegal for children on Earth, Shiro. Isn’t that what you told me?”

Shiro, leaning not far from the two on the kitchen wall, chuckled a response, “Well, it is if it’s real money, but this is just a game. You gamble with things like chocolate coins, or typically other small food pieces. Sam always told me Katie hated it when they used peanuts as the currency.”

Pidge concurred furiously, saying that Matt suggested it every year, and their mom always complied, much to Pidge’s chagrin. The smallest paladin complained that Matt did that specifically to rig the game against her since she wanted nothing to do with the gross, dry nuts, so she did everything in her power to get rid of them, even cheating by feeding them to Bae Bae. She recalled with a cringe that last Chanukkah, Matt had just sat across the table, staring at her, crunching down the peanuts when he won.

Once Pidge was finished regaling of her family’s dreidel shenanigans, she sighed, her figure collapsing. Shiro and Allura’s faces shifted to mirror the green paladin’s despairing countenance, and at Shiro’s sympathetic prompting, Pidge revealed the cause of her upset. She vented, “I was just thinking about playing with Matt, you know? He had his own dreidel, and he whittled it himself, just like I carved this one. My mom showed him how… Anyway, we played our own separate games at the Chanukkah parties my parents would host all the time, and I just remember that he loved playing dreidel. Probably because he won,” she cringed fondly, “but looking back on it, we created a lot of memories from playing together, just the two of us. The thing is…” Pidge paused, shoving her glasses higher on the bridge of her nose as her head drooped and Allura put a supportive hand on her shoulder, “…I brought his dreidel with me to the Garrison.” Shiro uttered the paladin’s name in sympathy, walking closer to her and placing his own hand on Pidge’s free shoulder. “It’s the one that Hunk probably saw, and I brought it because I wanted to give it back to Matt when I found him. Only, the night we found you, Shiro, I didn’t realize that I had been playing with it that morning, so when I went out to scan for frequencies that night, I forgot it wasn’t in my bag. By the time I checked for it in my bag, we had already taken down that Galra ship with Voltron for the first time and become the Defenders of the Universe. I still regret it, and I’m worried that I may never get to give it back to him, even if I do find him…”

Shiro stopped Pidge there, cutting her off, “Pidge. You’re going to find your brother. We’re going to bring him back; you have to know that. You’ll get to play dreidel with him again, this time with your own lucky dreidel.”

Allura agreed with the black paladin, putting in that if the two faced off using Pidge’s own dreidel, Matt would finally lose to his sister. Pidge laughed at this, claiming that she doubted it, but she wouldn’t mind losing to Matt again as long as it meant that he was right there with her, doing something other than worrying about a Galra attack or one of them being in the custody of those villains. Shiro guffawed and added that Matt would probably feel the same.

Allura straightened back up as Shiro patted Pidge’s back, and she scanned the kitchen for the other Altean on the ship. “Where is Coran? Shouldn’t he be learning about Chanukkah games as well? He’d love this! …especially since it’s gambling; it’s practically a mini version of the unilu swap shops he used to love so!” Pidge answered that she noticed that Lance had dragged the Altean off to a private room right after they had gotten back from the Space Mall, this time unscathed by Varkon’s pursuit. She assured the young woman that Coran could learn to play dreidel when she re-explained it to the other boys.

The trio was disrupted, however, when Lance came over the intercom of the ship, calling for all to meet on the bridge. Pidge proudly dunked her finished dreidel in the water for it to harden, then obeying Lance’s orders. Shiro and Allura followed too, and the princess joked to Shiro that it seemed that Lance was the holiday black paladin, earning her a hearty chortle from Pidge whilst the man himself scoffed.

Hunk had met up with Shiro, Pidge, and Allura along the way to the bridge, and upon entering, they encountered Lance standing front and center authoritatively, Coran standing behind him and to the side in support.

“Alright, Team Voltron! I was a little busy doing some holiday logistics after we got back from the Space Mall, but I think we’re all ready for a report now!” Lance proclaimed. He pointed to his best friend, inquiring, “Hunk, what’s the food situation?” Hunk answered that there was more than enough to feed the whole team including Keith as their plus one. Shiro brought up Hunk’s idea for the Olkarion feast, and once the yellow paladin delineated his idea, Lance pondered for a moment, then confirmed, “Yeah, that sounds like a super selfless idea! Maybe selfless enough for the Olkari to throw us a para-” a groan from the team indicated to Lance that this was not the time, so he finished, “-Ahem, Hunk, we should absolutely do that. You and I can contact Ryner and make plans for a refugee cookout in the Olkarion woods! So, Shiro, you’ve got some decorations for the ship, right?” Shiro smugly smiled before grabbing his shopping bag from his paladin seat and picking some representative decorations from it. He showed off the Anbytorian stones he’d foolishly purchased, believing them to be peppermint bark, but then proposed that they could be made into tree ornaments. Lance applauded Shiro’s creativity, followed by the rest of the team. Shiro then pulled out some silver string along with cerulean ribbons so that the team could make the halls festive for Hanukkah. Pidge gave her approval, and Lance’s accompanied hers. The man then started pulling out some deflated-looking items that looked like balloons, explaining that they were, apparently, floating lanterns that could be both lit and inflated by simply charging them through a Galra-issued charging station. Lance questioned if they even had one, to which Shiro pointed to his Galra arm, grasped a lantern with the prosthetic, and illuminated it. The lantern puffed up at a frightening speed, then ascended into the ceiling like a rocket. Coran suggested that Shiro should probably charge them with the lowest power setting his hand could offer.

“Great! So, it looks like we’re all set with decorations, except for the tree. Here’s the deal,” Lance began. “Allura, Coran, and I weren’t able to find any Christmas tree, or flora of any kind, at the Space Mall.” The boys and the Alteans groaned in disappointment, at which Lance twisted his face at the Alteans because, hello, they were there, but he amended, “That doesn’t mean we won’t have a tree, though! I won’t sleep until one is found! If I have to wormhole us to the next dimension MYSELF, I’LL DO IT!” Shiro squinted slightly, anticipating another threatening Christmas spirit episode, but Lance seems to have averted it. The red paladin announced, “In the meantime, we’ve got lots to do, Team Voltron, so…!” Pidge slumped in dread of more work, expecting Lance to start bossing them around to start hanging decorations and whatnot. “…get some rest, everyone.” Pidge, caught off guard at Lance’s tender tone, gazed back up to him while he added, “Today’s been a hard days’ work, so we’re going to need to rest our muscles for all of the hard labor of decorating for tomorrow. I’m proud of you, team, you really pulled it together on short notice!”

Hunk expressed hesitance, since Lance always decorated on the first of December no matter what, but Lance answered that he, himself, was tired as well. Lance dismissed everyone, and Hunk softly and fondly grinned at his best friend’s consideration. He, of all people, knew how hyper Lance was about Christmas, so the teenager was proud of his lanky friend’s restraint for the team’s sake.

Lance abruptly protested to everyone leaving, though, as there was one more favor he needed done before he went to bed. The team sighed.

Shiro yawned, smacking his lips while he waited. The sound of the shower had stopped a considerable amount of time ago, and he couldn’t but help growing slightly impatient. He called for Lance in the bathroom, wondering when he’d be done, and for the fifth time, Lance stated that he was ‘almost done.’ Shiro sighed through his nose.

At last, the bathroom door slid open, and Lance exited through it in his pajamas and blue lion slippers. Lance apologized to Shiro for taking so long, but made the excuse that the art of after-show skin care simply could not be rushed. The red paladin then tucked himself and and shimmied into the position of optimal comfort.

“Okay, so, the whole thing should’ve been transcribed on there by Hunk. It’s under the file ‘Lance’s Christmas Bedtime Story,’” Lance told the black paladin.

“This one?” Shiro indicated, and Lance confirmed it. “So, your mom still read you this even while you were in the Garrison.”

“Oh, yeah,” Lance bobbed his head enthusiastically. “We just did it over a video call; it was practically just like she was there! She read me this for the first time back when I was four, back during that December I woke up to decorate.”

Shiro nodded, then opened the file on his tablet. He then recited the transcribed script: “‘The cats nestle close to their kittens, / The lambs have laid down with the sheep. / You’re safe and warm in your bed, my dear. / …please go the ~QUIZNACK~ to sleep,’ Lance, your mom read this to you?”

“Yeah,” Lance put simply. “What of it? Go on.”

Shiro, eyes bulging out of his head, dramatically turned back to face the script, shrugging off his concerns. He continued:

The windows are dark in the town, child.

The whales huddle down in the deep.

I’ll read you one last book if you swear

You’ll go the ~QUIZNACK~ to sleep...

[emarimac]

God's Gift Of Rainfall: A Poem That Will Shake Your Feelings

Many thanks for dropping in and leaving a remark. Thanks for coming by once more, Jools! During this time around you go into the slowest sleeping brainwave task cycle called Delta Rest. So, Andromeda, recognize there IS a person like you available with an unusual, uneasy, rare however not harmful condition called Essential Monoclonal. Just a couple of miles down the road, daddy had switched on his head lights and there in advance of us was the car with the three young men, it was transformed sideways, obstructing both lanes of both lane highway. If I had a house cleaning I would certainly have them done every 3 days however I do not have one and also never ever will. I concur Clueless. It's never ever right to eliminate the body however one needs to discover to pay attention to one's body. Article lunch the body normally slows down, one feels lethargic and also has a disposition to relax awhile. Individuals do not tend to recognize that caffeine disrupts the metabolic process and develops imbalance in the body after putting on weight. Individuals that consume high levels of caffeine can have frustrations when they don't get their usual everyday quantity. Nicotine doesn't obtain as much focus as high levels of caffeine when it pertains to improving rest. I likewise didn't get involved in the tunes 'Black Ice' or 'Battle Maker', the latter of which was come with by a dodgy animation as well as appeared excessive like 'Hailstorm Caesar' to me anyway. I additionally always lay an additional patchwork at the foot of the bed in case they obtain cold. That's due to the fact that if you wait up until you go to sleep, it's most likely that you'll awaken because you're either too warm or as well cool. We are heading right into chilly and also influenza season. Yes, sheets are pricey! Yes, as well as it worked. Yes, really real, Diane. Terrific Center. Very first time I have actually heard about this. First clean your bed linen. I don't know that even if I had pushed doctors harder if they would certainly have discovered anything then either. After this, dinner would be served and then every person went to rest. A number of us struggle to obtain sufficient rest every night, but is the rest we obtain any type of excellent? No initiative at all is required on your component to get better arise from your fat loss efforts. It's smart to obtain the temperature readjusted as soon as you reach your area. Oversleeping the same area motivates breastfeeding, is known to help infant sleep for longer stretches and also can likewise help in reducing the dangers of Sudden Infant Death Disorder (SIDS). I will certainly try your techniques to see if a minimum of one of them will certainly aid. Among the factors that I utilized to wake up throughout the night was because I was starving. During the night you feel extra slow. No, i don't rest extremely well due to the fact that i have several concepts throughout the sleeping-time. And also i sleep 8 to nine hours for a night. Some say it's best to avoid exercises and square meals 3 hours prior to going to bed. 9. A giraffe sleeps about 1 1/2 hours a day. So essentially I've taken care of to turn my nights into day. It is constantly those days when i am exhausted past idea that my youngsters have energy to burn and also no place to run it off. Kids who are off their screens will be extra energetic, shedding with their natural physical power, that makes it simpler to settle at bedtime. In order to start the relaxation procedure, attempt not to utilize electronic devices like a computer, tablet or cellphone an hour before bedtime. Your blood vessels start to slim as a result of the development of blood clots and your high blood pressure enhances immediately. Many people love their brother or sisters and parents very much however allow's face it, tossing every person together for this one or two times yearly gather can cause stress and anxiety. You can practice deep breathing whilst resting in bed. Generally because we live in a small house and also I can add storage space under the bed. If they can talk about a negative desire, you can help them develop some alternate endings or a few other photos to focus on rather. Smoking cigarettes may aid you feel much more kicked back, however eventually causes rest disturbances. Required to check out your terrific pet dog hubs SOON so my little Scooter can feel better. I haven't cut it out entirely. The weeds that had actually grown after the rainfalls in wintertime and early springtime die throughout the summer season and fall when they have actually had no dropping rainfall to sprinkle them. April 17. Right here's to a stunning spring! I hesitate I'm the crook, here. Throughout his childhood there's been little stress and anxiety about seeing la-la land-- or about anything (except zombies, yet that can blame him?). I can call on pictures of tranquility and light. Normally the ovaries start to slow the production of hormones like estrogen, testosterone and also progesterone. We require to sleep to recoup from illness, eliminate stress and anxiety, boost memory and develop concentration.

[hello-tiger]

God's Present Of Rainfall: A Rhyme That Will Shake Your Feelings

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a remark. Thanks for visiting again, Jools! Throughout this time you enter into the slowest resting brainwave task cycle called Delta Sleep. So, Andromeda, recognize there IS somebody like you out there with an odd, worrisome, rare yet not life threatening problem called Crucial Monoclonal. Simply a few miles in the future, papa had switched on his head lights and also there ahead of us was the automobile with the three young men, it was transformed sidewards, obstructing both lanes of both lane freeway. If I had a house cleaning I would have them done every 3 days however I don't have one and also never ever will. I agree Unaware. It's never ever ideal to eliminate the body yet one needs to discover to pay attention to one's body. Post lunch the body naturally reduces, one feels lethargic as well as has a disposition to relax some time. People do not have a tendency to recognize that caffeine interferes with the metabolic process as well as creates inequality in the body after putting on weight. Individuals who consume high levels of caffeine can have frustrations when they don't get their usual daily quantity. Pure nicotine doesn't obtain as much focus as caffeine when it involves getting better sleep. I also didn't get into the tracks 'Black Ice' or 'War Device', the latter of which was come with by a dodgy anime as well as seemed too much like 'Hail storm Caesar' to me anyhow. I additionally always lay an extra patchwork at the foot of the bed in instance they obtain chilly. That's because if you wait till you go to bed, it's most likely that you'll awaken because you're either too hot or too cold. We are heading into cold and also influenza season. Yes, sheets are pricey! Yes, as well as it functioned. Yes, really true, Diane. Wonderful Center. Very first time I have actually found out about this. First wash your bedding. I don't understand that also if I had pressed physicians harder if they would have found anything after that either. After this, supper would be served and then everybody went to sleep. Much of us battle to get sufficient rest every evening, yet is the rest we get any type of good? No effort in any way is required on your part to improve results from your weight loss efforts. It's wise to get the temperature adjusted as soon as you get to your room. Sleeping in the same space encourages breastfeeding, is understood to assist child sleep for longer stretches and can likewise help reduce the risks of Sudden Baby Death Syndrome (SIDS). I will certainly try your strategies to see if a minimum of one of them will aid. One of the reasons that I made use of to wake up throughout the night was because I was starving. During the evening you really feel a lot more slow-moving. No, i do not rest very well since i have many ideas during the sleeping-time. And also i rest 8 to 9th hrs for a night. Some state it's best to prevent workouts and also heavy meals 3 hours before bedtime. 9. A giraffe sleeps regarding 1 1/2 hours a day. So basically I have actually handled to turn my nights into day. It is always those days when i am worn down past belief that my kids have power to melt and also nowhere to run it off. Children who are off their screens will be a lot more active, burning via their all-natural physical power, that makes it less complicated to settle down at going to bed. In order to begin the leisure procedure, attempt not to use digital gadgets like a computer, tablet computer or cellphone an hour before bedtime. Your capillary begin to slim due to the development of embolism and also your blood pressure boosts immediately. Many people love their siblings as well as parents very much but let's encounter it, tossing every person together for this once or twice yearly gather can create stress and anxiety. You can practise deep breathing whilst resting in bed. Mainly since we live in a cottage as well as I can include storage under the bed. If they can talk about a negative desire, you can aid them generate some alternative ends or some other pictures to concentrate on rather. Smoking cigarettes may help you really feel more kicked back, yet eventually leads to sleep disruptions. Required to check out your great pet hubs QUICKLY so my little Mobility scooter can feel better. I haven't cut it out totally. The weeds that had actually thrived after the rains in wintertime and also very early springtime die throughout the summer season and autumn when they have actually had no falling rainfall to water them. April 17. Below's to a gorgeous spring! I hesitate I'm the bad guy, here. Throughout his childhood there's been little anxiousness regarding checking out la-la land-- or regarding anything at all (other than zombies, however who can blame him?). I can call on photos of calmness and also light. Generally the ovaries begin to slow down the manufacturing of hormonal agents like estrogen, testosterone and progesterone. We need to rest to recuperate from illness, eliminate anxiety, improve memory and also establish focus.

[ramseycrickets]

God's Gift Of Rainfall: A Rhyme That Will Certainly Shake Your Sensations

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. Thanks for stopping by once more, Jools! During this time you go into the slowest sleeping brainwave activity cycle called Delta Rest. So, Andromeda, recognize there IS somebody like you around with a weird, worrisome, uncommon however not life threatening condition called Vital Monoclonal. Just a couple of miles down the road, father had switched on his head lights as well as there ahead of us was the vehicle with the 3 boys, it was transformed sidewards, obstructing both lanes of both lane freeway. If I had a maid I would certainly have them done every 3 days yet I don't have one and never ever will. I concur Unaware. It's never best to combat the body yet one needs to find out to listen to one's body. Article lunch the body naturally slows down, one really feels tired and has a disposition to relax some time. People do not often tend to understand that caffeine disrupts the metabolic rate and also develops imbalance in the body after gaining weight. People that consume caffeine can have headaches when they do not obtain their typical daily quantity. Pure nicotine does not obtain as much attention as caffeine when it pertains to improving sleep. I additionally really did not get into the tracks 'Black Ice' or 'Battle Machine', the latter of which was accompanied by a dodgy animation and appeared way too much like 'Hail storm Caesar' to me anyhow. I also constantly lay an additional quilt at the foot of the bed in instance they get cool. That's due to the fact that if you wait till you go to bed, it's most likely that you'll awaken since you're either also hot or as well cool. We are heading right into cold and influenza period. Yes, sheets are pricey! Yes, and it functioned. Yes, very true, Diane. Great Hub. First time I have heard about this. First wash your bedding. I don't recognize that also if I had pressed medical professionals harder if they would certainly have discovered anything after that either. After this, supper would certainly be served and after that every person went to sleep. Much of us struggle to obtain enough rest every night, however is the sleep we obtain any kind of good? No initiative in any way is called for on your component to get better results from your fat loss initiatives. It's important to obtain the temperature level readjusted as soon as you get to your room. Oversleeping the very same room motivates breastfeeding, is recognized to help child rest for longer stretches as well as can likewise help in reducing the dangers of Abrupt Infant Fatality Disorder (SIDS). I will certainly try your methods to see if at least among them will help. One of the reasons that I made use of to awaken during the evening was due to the fact that I was hungry. Throughout the evening you really feel a lot more slow-moving. No, i do not sleep extremely well because i have lots of suggestions during the sleeping-time. And i sleep 8 to 9th hours for an evening. Some claim it's ideal to stay clear of workouts as well as square meals 3 hours before bedtime. 9. A giraffe rests concerning 1 1/2 hours a day. So generally I have actually taken care of to turn my nights into day. It is always those days when i am exhausted beyond idea that my youngsters have energy to burn and also nowhere to run it off. Youngsters that are off their displays will be extra energetic, burning with their natural physical energy, which makes it simpler to settle at going to bed. In order to start the relaxation procedure, try not to make use of digital tools like a computer system, tablet or mobile phone a hr before going to bed. Your blood vessels begin to narrow due to the development of embolism and also your blood pressure increases immediately. Many people like their siblings and also moms and dads dearly yet allow's encounter it, tossing everyone with each other for this one or two times annual gather can cause stress. You can practice deep breathing whilst resting in bed. Mainly because we live in a cottage and I can add storage space under the bed. If they can talk about a negative desire, you can assist them come up with some alternative endings or a few other photos to concentrate on instead. Smoking cigarettes may assist you feel a lot more kicked back, yet ultimately brings about sleep disturbances. Required to look into your fantastic pet centers SOON so my little Mobility scooter can really feel much better. I haven't quit totally. The weeds that had flourished after the rainfalls in winter season as well as very early springtime die during the summer and also fall when they've had no falling rainfall to water them. April 17. Below's to a lovely springtime! I hesitate I'm the bad guy, right here. Throughout his youth there's been little anxiety about going to la-la land-- or regarding anything at all (except zombies, but that can condemn him?). I can call on photos of calmness as well as light. Typically the ovaries start to slow the manufacturing of hormonal agents like estrogen, testosterone and also progesterone. We need to rest to recoup from illness, remove tension, boost memory as well as develop focus.

[opalmothnightingale]

Dreams

6- 12- 18 - I dreamed a few dreams over the course of a few weeks or more, maybe months,...  My daughter told me of her dreams too,...  a couple little ones,...  Hmm...  In case they mean anything and to get them out of my head, hoping that will be better,...  They’ll make room for more things, other realer things, and I can laugh at the senseless or oppressive nature of it,...  Or just nonsensical nature of it all,...  When mostly there is very little to pay attention to or latch on to and now I have something much better,...  The energy, the spirit messages, the senses and present moment, inner child, raising my child, perspectives on even death and living hell for the rest of your life,... What are a few trivial dreams?  So,...  I dreamed of a man who had a needle in his arm, apparently just him, no one else around,...  And the song, ‘Loser’ by Three Doors Down...  “I’m a loser and sooner or later you know I’ll be dead,” ...  “You’re getting closer to pushing me off of life’s little ledge”...  I thought at first this could be speaking of someone with a drug addiction, in real life or symbolic addiction maybe,...  Then I thought it could be related to my husband, because after the dream he went for his first treatment which was in a shot, which I did not know.  I thought then it could be me,...  I am the one who is barely hanging on.  It could be a few people, maybe speaking to how we all are kind of hanging on, on the edge, ready to be pushed off by someone,..  Yet it also says in the song things about one day this will be left far behind,...  Like speaking of an addiction, and the problems, I think...  

Then my daughter told me of a dream in which there were many crawdad holes (this is what she calls crayfish, which my husband calls them).  So anyway, many moles kept coming up out of the crawdad holes and trying to bite us, and you had to be careful (or was it, you had to walk fast maybe, not sure?)...  It made me think,... moles?  Dad?  Hmm...  She knew my husband was going to the doctor to get a mole removed and was going to have to go for treatments because of that...  Craw, this reminds me of my and my daughter’s names and initials,...  Hmm,...  If that’s worth anything,...  

And then my daughter told me of a dream in which my husband, and my daughter and I were all walking in a graveyard, in daytime, but we came to a part of the graveyard that was dark, and a watermelon rolled under a pumpkin when we got there, and a vampire popped out from the pumpkin,...  Melon,...  sounds like melanoma...  Pumpkin?  My husband has seemed to be symbolized by the Jack O’Lantern to me (yes strange, but symbols can be strange and comical sometimes how they can come to me, so,... )  Then pumpkin, people sometimes call their children “pumpkin”...  Vampire, I thought, my husband becoming like a vampire, as he has seemed to have those behaviors, manipulative, sociopathic, insidiously watching and analyzing and trying to trick and get to you, get in your head, etc,...  Trying to cause all kinds of reactions, upset and disrupt you...  Then later, I thought of Kali, ...  Not that she’s a vampire, but she is pictured as drinking blood in some pictures so,.. hmm,...  I think that she said then after that we did something else fun,...  And she didn’t seem distrubed by the dream,..  Oh I also thought, the melanoma might “go underneath” something, like, spread, somewhere else, slowly sapping energy, like a vampire?  I don’t know...  

Ok, then she dreamed of a giant ant in a can, ...  She seemed disturbed by this, like a kind of nightmare,...  As she did with the mole and crawdad holes dream,...  I thought of ant,...  Ain’t and can’t, and can?  Or cans, like processed food, BPA and other toxins that might be contained, but I think those aren’t used, now but from what I’ve learned they often replace one toxin with a worse one, till it’s proven toxic, so I’m always skeptical when new and improved things are supposedly better and safe,...  It’s not always so,...  And then it made me think of that, because my daughter has also had dreams about cereal having ants in it,...  And it turns out cereal did seem to make her ill,...  We later figured it out...  

I had dreams that seemed to symbolize my gut having mold and/or my food I’m eating having mold,...  

And what else, I’m trying to think...  I think that I had m more dreams,..

Oh yeah, a disturbing combination of songs was playing in my head,...  ‘Slew Dem and Done’ by Dezarie, and ‘When You Wish Upon a Star’, and ‘What a Wonderful World’ by Louis Armstrong.,..  All mixed up together to a medley.  I thought it was “School Dem and Done’, somehow in my head, till I looked up the lyrics,..  It gave me the idea of justice in my life, and I thought of the fierce deities that I sometimes have appealed to,...  To only protect in what is right,...  

I had some other dreams, but for now I guess that is all I’ll write down... 

Oh yeah, I also had a dream of someone who seems to mirror one of the people I thought was a stalkerish soulmate who disturbed me even though I once loved them, a mirror person,...  Someone else that seemed to mirror the mirror,... I dreamed of that person, they said something as though telling an Alexa device to tell something that would haunt (so and so, seemingly talking about me, I thought) or even put a fire under them)...  And then I dreamed disturbing dreams that seemed to hint or imply about me, my husband and my daughter all having cancer, and my daughter denying that she was ill, pretending it was not really that but that she was acting ill for other reasons, pretend ones,... Hmm,...

It kind of disturbed me because I’d been getting the sense that some of my dreams, disturbing dreams and signs and synchs and things might be not of a good origin, not there to help me,...  But to disrupt my progress and make me overly worried, maybe about things which aren’t even valid,...  But then I am not sure,... It is hard to know which might be valid and which might be not real or even meant to lead me astray instead,...  And the “Alexis” reference seemed to speak to me of the robotic, meaningless nature of synchs and dreams sometimes,...  

Yet another thought is sometimes people seem to be aloof and robotic, and they won’t even directly interact or go deeper, and even if this is their best they can bring themselves to give, it still can make me feel like I don’t want to interact, because it feels false, often, as though they think they know what is best, but they can’t even get close enough to interact openly and directly...  And often those people are people who if I ever did talk directly about it, they would then either evade me or else they would push advice and opinions on me, in a very diagnostic, bossy way that implies they really know what I need to do and often it would be really off the mark, actually,...  But the “internalized voices” would be triggered, often, from that,...  And it’s happened too often,...  It makes me hide and even hide from the signs and dreams of such,...  In case it’s a connection to others’ minds and what they’d like to tell me, maybe, sometimes, as I think can occur.

Then I dreamed I was at a doctor’s office and someone gave me something to drink which looked like thick pinkish stuff floating in clear stuff,...  And they said something like it was something familiar from my childhood, ...  I think they said it was puzzle piece gum... I think later thought of Pepto Bismol...  Hmm..

Oh and I also had seeming signs and synchs, some from my daughter, about other health concerns I’ve been worried about and thinking of what to do about them, fearing conventional medical approaches to things like that, etc,...  So that makes me wonder if I really ought to do something to address them.  The signs seemed to imply though that it wouldn’t be anything big, to just get it addressed and there would be no big problem, no long term issue,...

Also the implication in a book she chose for her bedtime story,...  Maybe warning signs are meant to scare me from the wrong path, not to indicate that there is something terrible to worry about,...  More that maybe I would be heedless and careless without these warning signs perhaps.  I need fear, maybe, to make me sit up and really pay attention instead of running away from it again and again?  Ah...  Yeah it does sound about right, but even with that in mind, I still need enough fear,...  Just not the paralyzing fear, of worst case scenarios that might make me feel like not trying rather than risk it all failing so badly even still,...  Trying can seem so hard and heavy sometimes, amidst all the other things and possible side effects but I just have to get over it, do something about these things, and not think about it, before, during or after the “just doing it”,... Just doing something about it,...  What else can I do I guess?  It’s the only thing that really makes sense with certain risks and lack of certainty even though I do have a lot of faith, but I know spirit doesn’t make guarantees, so...  At least, my spirit I talk to doesn’t...  Even guidance can be not like it seems...  Even with things as real and physical as illnesses,...  The guidance of how to heal might not actually heal me, because of some weird guidance leading me to learn in unexpected ways that I wouldn’t have liked had I known where it would lead, but I will learn and heal even if not in the expected ways,...  So that can kind of sap my enthusiasm but I have to put thoughts like this out of my mind and just do it,..  Sometimes it does have the promised effect, other times leads me down a wild goose chase, but I haven’t found a better alternative, so I will just jump in and trust, anyway.  I can accept it if I don’t overthink and try to control what’s not mine to control,...  I can do it, ...   And yes,...  so I will...

[ouraidengray4]

An Unexpectedly Awesome Side Effect of Not Drinking

Last week, a professional chef invited me to his house for dinner—a six-course meal that included homemade pork sausages, beef meatballs, lamb, spinach risotto, ravioli, a cheese board, and a three-tiered coconut cake. The chef marveled at how much food I could put away. "How can you eat this much and stay so svelte?" he inquired, as I served myself a third lamb chop. The answer came as soon as he asked me if I'd care for a glass of wine. "No, thank you," I said. "I don't drink."

EDITOR'S PICK

When I cut alcohol out of my diet last year, I never expected my weight loss to be this drastic. I imagined that I might shed a pound or two, but as I usually only drank once a week, I figured that the impact those Friday night sessions had on my waistline must be fairly limited. However, six months have gone by, and I'm 10 pounds lighter and down a dress size.

Friends constantly ask for my "secret," my diet, the name of my Spin instructor. When I tell them I simply gave up gin and tonics, they look at me askance. Look, I tried dieting, I trained as a circus aerialist, and I did a 90-day yoga challenge, but nothing has been as impactful as simply not drinking alcohol.

I knew my relationship with alcohol had become a problem last summer. I never drank every day or even every other day—it wasn't the frequency of my drinking that worried me, it was my reaction to it. When I took that first sip of my long-awaited Friday night gin and tonic, I felt this huge surge of relief, like the long exhale you make as you sink into the sofa after a long day. The muscles in my face relaxed, a smile broke out on my face, and I could let go of all of my problems for as long as my drinking session lasted.

Drinking lowers your inhibitions and allows you to make all the bad choices you want. "I was drunk!" you joke the next day when you wake up in a full face of makeup, holding a honey mustard-smeared chicken tender.

Like many other millennials, I deal with a lot of career frustration and stress. I send job applications out into the world every week and only occasionally hear anything back. It's like shouting into the Grand Canyon: Is anybody out there… there… there? When a reply does ping into my inbox, I open the email warily, waiting for the point in the message that explains there's no money attached to the project, but it will be "great exposure." Of course, not only does exposure not pay the rent, you can die from exposure. But drinking allowed me an off-switch from thinking about my career—it was an easy (albeit unhealthy) fix.

EDITOR'S PICK

I've also found that my head is constantly planted in the future—I have a hard time living in the present. But when you go to the bar or dive into that post-booze delivery pizza, I guarantee you, you are present. You aren't thinking about the past (and all your mistakes), and you're not thinking about the future (if you were, you might consider the pain of the impending hangover). No, you are only focused on the moment at hand.

When I realized that I was living in the present when I drank, I started to explore how I could use the idea of being present to actually aid my sobriety. If I could stay in the moment day-to-day—instead of storing up all of my problems and then releasing them in a drinking binge (and maybe subsequent eating binge)—I could work through them as they arose, chipping away at my issues piece by piece, rather than letting things get out of control until it all felt unmanageable.

Presence of mind was the key, as it turned out. I learned how to take a breath and consider what I was about to do. It sounds so simple, but if you just take a moment to think about whether or not you need to drink or eat a huge slice of pie right now, your choices may change. Sobriety clears your mind and allows you to react more calmly, with compassion for yourself and others. Curious to try it out for yourself? Here's what to do—and expect.

1. Tell your friends (or they might think you're avoiding them, not booze).

Drinking is woven into almost every social activity. When I made the decision to embrace sobriety, I ended up turning down a lot of events that I knew were going to be big boozefests—I missed my friend's band performing and skipped Friday night cocktails. Soon, I began to feel lonely. I hated missing out. Plus, I was keeping a secret from my friends.

So tell the people you're close to. You don't have to say you're doing this forever, and you don't have to admit to being a raging alcoholic, but let them know that you're taking some time off from drinking. Start with baby steps, because small steps are easy for everyone to accept. If you and your friends think this no-alcohol rule is only a short-term thing, it will be easier for everyone to get on board.

If you decide to continue with your sobriety, you can do it incrementally, maybe another week, maybe a month... and soon you'll just be the friend who doesn't drink. No big deal.

2. The sugar cravings will surprise you.

I've never had a sweet tooth—cheese has always been my food vice of choice—but when I stopped drinking, I suddenly experienced severe sugar cravings. Alcohol contains plenty of sugar, but more than that, drink mixers are often off-the-charts sweet.

Bearing in mind that your recommended daily sugar intake is about 50 grams max, learning that a single vodka-and-cranberry juice can contain 30 grams of sugar is a little devastating… and let's face it, who is just drinking one of these on a night out? I thought I didn't have a sweet tooth, but in reality, I had a big one—it was just being satisfied by gin and tonics, not cupcakes.

Sugar affects the brain by raising dopamine levels, the same chemical that is released when we drink alcohol. Dopamine is often referred to as the "reward chemical" because it creates feelings of well-being, so when you stop drinking, your brain is suddenly depleted of this feeling and seeks it elsewhere.

Personally, I don’t think you should worry too much about this sudden desire for sugar—in my experience, indulging a little bit can be good for you. Be gentle with yourself and eat the occasional cookie, if it helps you. I eat a reasonably healthy diet, and my sugar imbalance sorted itself out in about a week, although this could take longer depending on how much you drank and your fondness for the sweet stuff.

3. Don't be shocked if you feel some pushback.

When I told one of my friends that I wasn't drinking via a text message, I didn't hear back from her for over a week. When she did reappear, she explained she found this news hard to digest as it made her question her own choices with regards to drinking. This is not uncommon. Whenever you make a lifestyle choice for your benefit, it can hold up a mirror to other people's choices.

I remember when a friend told me she was becoming a vegan, my initial reaction was to mock her and roll my eyes... but then I considered why I reacted that way. Why should I care what she chooses to put in her body? It dawned on me that her choice to avoid meat and dairy was shining a light on the foods I chose to consume. I had responded to poorly to her choice because I felt it reflected badly on me.

So I encourage you to allow people time to deal with their own feelings about drinking. Any bad response you receive has less to do with you than what's going on with them.

4. Don't expect immediate results, but do expect results.

After about two months of not drinking, I had maybe shifted a pound or two. Not exactly startling progress, but after six months, 10 pounds had come off, and I had no idea how this had happened. I had changed nothing about my diet—I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, and exercised solely by walking to the subway. To put it bluntly, I didn't do s**t for this weight loss. Well, except that I'd stopped drinking.

5. The phrase "drunk food" will no longer be in your vocabulary.

I said that I hadn't changed my diet, and I hadn't—not in a conscious way, at any rate. But by not drinking, I had removed a part of my diet that I shamefully call my "drunk food." I'm referring, of course, to that delicious burrito you eat on your way home from the bar (the 1,000-calorie one) and the hungover breakfast you make for yourself the next day.

Then there's the Sunday brunch that lasts hours, packed with Bloody Marys, French toast, eggs Benedict, etc. Without a hangover to constantly mop up, your diet just naturally improves. Yes, fried foods can still be a fun indulgence, but they don't become a medical necessity to get you through a Sunday.

6. You’ll sleep like a baby.

We know that a glass of wine can help you drift off, but drinking often leads to poorer-quality sleep. When you stop drinking, your sleep drastically improves. For one thing, you're more likely to get into a regular sleep schedule. In my drinking days, I would be in bed by 10 p.m. on weeknights, but when I went out drinking, bedtime could become 1 a.m… 2 a.m… 3 a.m... It disrupted my cycle for the entire weekend and left my Monday mornings feeling like a real slog. Without this disruption, I wake up feeling refreshed and I can tell you I haven't once woken up and thought, Gee, I wish I'd had some drinks last night.

7. Stop meeting at the bar and go for coffee.

A simple concept in theory, unbelievably hard in practice. I knew that if I joined my friends at a bar, I would end up drinking. It really is no fun being the only sober friend sipping a seltzer while your friends pound tequila shots. I had to remove myself from those situations, but I didn't want to become a Miss Havisham-style recluse.

My answer to this was to move my socializing to the daytime. When anyone suggested that we grab a drink, I countered with, "I can't make it Friday night, but how about coffee on a Saturday?" You will need to rearrange your life somewhat, but what you lose in drunken karaoke, you make up for with sober, genuine conversation.

8. If you love food, this is the diet for you.

I've never been a dieter. I simply love to eat and I couldn't imagine not enjoying a well-balanced diet. A typical day's meals for me are scrambled eggs with plenty of cheese and toast for breakfast, a turkey and avocado sandwich for lunch, and pasta for dinner. Maybe a slice of pie works its way in there somewhere. I eat what I feel like eating, and still the weight comes off. It's a dream!

9. Meditation can help.

With so much uncertainty in our lives, it's only natural to worry about the future—and feeling unsure about the future can lead to carelessness in the present. Though times may seem tough, if you stay present in the moment, you can realize that the future is not all laid out in front of you like some inevitable path, but in fact, is yours to create. By changing your thinking about the future, you take back control. So start right now.

Whenever you make a lifestyle choice for your benefit, it can hold up a mirror to other people's choices.

Meditation is something that can help with this. By taking time to sit with your thoughts for five minutes, you're giving yourself room to consider what it is you are about to do. If I feel that "f*ck-it" mindset approaching and wonder Why not just go out and get drunk, it's all a mess anyway? I take a moment to sit with it. By the time the meditation app rings its little chime, the impulse has passed, and a better decision has presented itself.

10. Don't take it all too seriously.

Someone said to me recently that if I had combined my not drinking with a diet and exercise makeover, my body would be bangin' right now. My answer was "Not drinking is hard enough." While diet and exercise are clearly important when it comes to keeping your weight in check—and being healthy—I find it's just too much pressure all at once. If I stopped drinking, went vegan, and started boxercise at the same time, I guarantee you that within a week, I would have freaked out, felt overwhelmed, and fallen into bed with a box of mozzarella sticks.

Be kind to yourself. If you want to see gradual weight loss that feels easy, consider cutting alcohol out of your diet. When you feel on an even keel with this change, maybe then consider adding other lifestyle choices into your regimen. If you fall off the wagon and drink a glass of wine, don't beat yourself up. You do not need to be perfect—all you need is to be willing.

Ruthie Darling is a British writer, photographer and theatre artist based in Brooklyn. She once shared a stage with Sting and played it totally cool. You can find more of her work on ruthiedarlingblog.com and Instagram @ruthiedarling.

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